Even A Rose Has It's Thorns
by newbienovelistRD
Summary: Rachel meets her uncle's fiancée he met from a matrimonial agency, but is she really as harmless as she looks?


**This is a story I've wanted to do for a while now. I would like to honor this story to my best fanfic buddy GoldGuardian2418 for all her dedicated work and for being the grateful and gifted author that she is.**

* * *

On a nice day like today, Rachel arrived at the Jocklin Mansion to visit her uncle Joseph. He said he had a big surprise for her. And Rachel loved surprises from her uncles. She knocked on the door, it swung open and,

"Rachel! Welcome back, Sweetie!" her uncle, Jospeh Jocklin gave his niece a big bear hug. Rachel giggled as she hugged him back. "I missed you so much, Rachel!"

His niece smiled big. "And I missed you too!"

Jospeh looked around. "Where's Sasha?"

"Oh, she's at the Grant Mansion with the others. After all, someone's got to keep Whampire company." She giggled and winked.

The uncle let out a warm laugh and said, "It's amazing how Scaredy-cat Sasha became engaged to a Vladat!" He grinned. "Which reminds me, there's someone I want you to meet!"

Rachel went into her uncle's house and to the living room. Sitting on the couch, Rachel saw what could be the most beautiful woman she ever saw. With flawless skin, short and shiny blonde hair, and fire truck red lips. It was like looking at a clone of Marilyn Monroe.

The woman smiled sweetly at Sasha, showing her pearly white teeth. "Hello."

"Uh, hello..." said Rachel, a little flustered.

"Rachel, this is Rosemary Blake. My fiancé." Jospeh introduced.

"Fiancé'?!" Rachel gasped. "Oh! Well, congratulations!"

They enjoyed some tea and talked for a while. Rachel was happy for her uncle, glad that he found that special someone.

After the tea, Jospeh and Rachel talked alone in the kitchen. "Rachel, do you think you can stick around for a little bit? You know, to help her feel welcome?"

Rachel smiled. "Sure! No problem. So, how did you two meet?"

"I met her through a matrimonial agency." Charles told her.

Rachel's smile dipped. "A matrimonial agency?!"

"Yes, is that a problem?"

"Well, it, doesn't seem right!" Rachel told him. "I mean, a maid order bride? Don't you think you're rushing things? Marriage is a big step!"

"I know, Rachel. But I have high hopes for Rosemary. She makes every girl I've ever met look like nothing. And I want her to feel welcome to our family. Okay?"

Hesitant, but Rachel gave in. "Alright, but it's still not right."

Jospeh ruffled her hair. "Good," He felt around the pocket of his lab coat. "Rachel, could you get me a pen? I need to get started on this paperwork Rosemary gave me."

"What is it?"

"Oh, just marriage papers. Insurance, last will in testament, y'know." He sighed lovingly. "But she's worth the red tape. She's a darling!"

"I guess." Rachel walked out of the kitchen for a pen. She found one in her uncle's lab, she left the room and ran into Rosemary. "Oh, excuse me."

Rosemary smiled sweetly. "Quite alright" She peeked at Joseph's lab. "So, Rachel, are you an aspiring inventor?"

She shook her head "Nah, but I am proud of what my uncle has made. He's quite a mad genius."

Rosemary seemed a little confused hearing the words, 'mad genius'. "Like a mad scientist?"

Rachel just shook her head, "No, just a mad genius." And the girl just walked away.

Once the paperwork was taken care of, Rosemary said her goodbyes and left the house. As soon as she got in her car, she pulled out her phone and dialed a number. "Hello? George? It's Rose. Oh, he'll be a pushover. This'll be the 5th one married and morgued in the past month. I think I'll do him in tomorrow night to save time.

* * *

The next day, Rachel came downstairs and saw her uncle Joseph and Rosemary in the back yard hugging and kissing. Rachel shook her head, what does a hot young thing like Rosemary see in a middle aged man who wears a lab coat 24/7?

After the love fest, they came into the house. "I can't wait for you to meet the rest of my family, Rosemary."

"And I can't wait either!" she replied, excited.

"Now, why don't you stay in the guest room for tonight? Do you mind?"

"Not at all, Darling."

They walked up the stairs, giggling in each other's arms. Rachel frowned, something about that woman didn't feel right at all.

* * *

As the sun came down, a group of people came to the Jocklin Mansion. Well, more like a group of aliens and one human girl.

"Are you sure about this, Honey?" asked Whampire.

"Of course." Sasha said. "Until the upstairs rooms are fumigated, we'll just have to stay here. I'm sure my uncles won't mind."

Blitzwolfer growled. "I don't think I'm gonna feel my nostrils for a week after what Gutrot and Stinkfly did..."

"I know," Snare-oh agreed. "That's the last time we let them make stink bombs in the house."

"Sasha, you think you'll give Snare-oh a room with a lock?" Frankenstrike asked.

Sasha looked at him. "Why's that?"

"He's been sleepwalking." Blitzwolfer said.

"NO!" the mummy protested. "I don't sleepwalk!"

"Yeah, sure..." Blitzwolfer said with an eye roll.

"If you're sleepwalking, I can fix that." Whampire suggested.

"No! I don't have a sleepwalking problem!"

Sasha laughed. "Come on, guys. Behave."

The gang entered the house. Sasha and the aliens walked in to see her uncle Joseph work on an experiment. Sasha gently knocked on the open door. "Uncle Joe?" she said.

"Hm?" Joeseph did not take his eyes of his experiment.

"Can the guys and I stay here for a bit?"

"Huh? Oh, sure." he said, still experimenting.

Sasha smiled and they walked down the hall. "See? Told you he wouldn't mind. So, you guys wanna check out the basement? There's a pool table!"

"Yeah!" they cheered and headed for the basement.

It was now late in the evening, Rachel and Joseph were fast asleep in their rooms.

Rosemary quietly slipped out of the guest room with a bag. She went to the stairs and took out a jar of grease and oiled up the stair railing. Once that was taken care of, she placed a sharp tack at the top of the stairs.

She smiled as she retreated to her room and phoned in her partner. "Okay, George. The 'accident' is ready. I told him I'm a heavy sleeper and my mother will be calling me from Alabama. So in an hour, you dial his number and he'll come rushing down the stairs. And then, it'll be slip, slide, crash, bang! Money in our pockets!"

Sasha and the gang came out of the basement through the door upstairs after a rousing game of pool. Sasha yawned, "Alright, guys. Time for bed. Snare-oh, you can take that room, Whampire, you and I can take the room across from it.

"What about Blitzwolfer?" Whampire asked.

Sasha blinked "Uh...he'll be fine."

Confused, they looked over and saw that Blitzwolfer was already asleep, curled up on the soft cozy carpet, snoring away.

"I guess I can take the sofa." said Frankenstrike.

Sasha shook her head. "No way, you're not sleeping on a lumpy, old sofa. You can take the guest room. The bed's big enough to fit two of you."

Everyone went to their assigned rooms and tucked themselves in.

Frankenstrike entered his room and let out a big yawn. He got into the bed and closed his eyes. Completely oblivious to Rosemary Blake, who was sleeping right next to him.

A few minutes later, the phone rang from downstairs. Frankenstrike and Rosemary simeontaneously woke up.

Rosemary turned to her side and saw the alien Frankenstein. Her eyes went wide and screamed in absolute horror. "AAAAAAAAAAAH!"

"AAAAAAAAH!" Frankenstrike screamed from the shock of a stranger sleeping next to him.

Rosemary kept screaming as she ran out the room, she kept running until she stepped on Blitzwolfer's tail and slipped. He woke up, howling in pain and snarled at the woman, his green eyes glowing furiously.

The woman screamed and tried to get away, then one of the doors burst open and Snare-oh came out with his arms stretched out. He was sleepwalking, he loped toward Rosemary slowly in a menacing way. His dead, lifeless stare looking right through her.

"Uuuuuh..." he moaned in his deep, spooky voice.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Rosemary screamed, terrified as she ran for the stairs. She stepped on the sharp tack and shouted, loosing her balance and fell down the stairs, she grabbed the railing, but it was all greased up. She ruined her own trap.

As she struggled to get up, something dropped down before her, she looked up and it was Whampire, grinning his fangs at her. "It's so nice to see new blood."

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" Rosemary screamed so loud, she could have broken every window in the house. She shot up and ran right past Whampire and bolted out the door within a second.

* * *

Later, in the guest room, Joseph was scolding Sasha and the monsters for scaring Rosemary. "FRANKENSTRIKE! What did you do to her?!" he demanded to know.

"I swear! I didn't do anything!" Frankenstrike told him. "She just looked at me, screamed, and ran out!"

Sasha stepped between them to have her say. "Uncle Joseph! Don't be mad at them! This is all my fault! We never should have come here!"

Just then, there was a knock at the door. Rachel decided to get it, when she opened the door, she was shocked to see two police officers with one of their arms hooked around Rosemary's.

"NO! Please! Let me go! Nooooo!" she begged, but she sounded more scared than angry. It sounded close to sobbing.

"Good evening, Miss." said an officer. "We just wanted to let you know we got her and she confessed to everything."

"Got Rosemary?!" Rachel gasped.

"That's right, she's a black widow. You're uncle's the only she hasn't managed to do away with. She was going to marry him then bump him off to get all his dough. We picked her accomplice and he said she was here. Soon as we pulled up, she came busting out of the house."

Rachel scowled at the vile woman. "I thought you were too good to be true."

"Listen! You have to believe me!" Rosemary wailed. "That man is a mad scientist! He's created the Frankenstein monster! That house is crawling with monsters!"

The two policemen laughed, Rachel laughed along with them and said, "There's nobody in her but my family, officers."

"Yeah, that's what we figured." said the cop. "She's just trying to build up on an insanity plea to make it easy on her charges."

"But we've heard better ones than this." said the other cop. The two left with Rosemary the Black Widow, now in custody.

* * *

Rachel went back to the mansion and explained everything. The gang was shocked, but Joseph took it the worst.

"Rosemary...was trying to kill me?..."

Rachel tried to comfort him. "I'm sorry, Uncle. Don't be sad."

Frankenstrike shook his head. "When you think of some of the people running loose in the world today..." He shuddered. "it's frightening."

Sasha blinked. "So...you guys saved my uncle without even trying!"

"Actually, if there's anyone to thank..." Whampire said. "it's you, Sasha!"

"Me?"

"Yeah, if you didn't bring the monsters here, who knows what could've happened to me? You all saved the day!" Jospeh said, hugging his niece.

"So tell me again how she was scared out of her wits!" Rachel said with a laugh. "What brought her to her knees?"

Frankenstrike grinned, showing his yellow, uneven teeth. "First off, she never expected sleeping right next to me."

"Or stepping on my tail." Blitzwolfer mentioned, checking his sore appendage.

"But Snare-oh was the real star." Sasha said as she held up her iPhone. She showed them the video of Snare-oh scaring Rosemary in his sleep.

Everyone laughed while the mummy gasped. "You filmed that?!"

"Just needed some evidence to your sleepwalking." Whampire said with a grin.

Sasha doubled over laughing. "That was hilarious! You were all like, 'Uuuuuhhh...'" She held her arms out and had a dull look on her face. Everyone laughed at her impression.

But not Snare-oh. He narrowed his eyes at Sasha as he reached for her. "That's it..." he said ominously. "you are doomed!"

"Uh, oh..." Sasha tried to run but the mummy grabbed her and wiggled his fingers towards her belly.

Snare-oh chuckled darkly said as he snaked his gauze fingers under her shirt and tickled her silly on her stomach and underarms.

"AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! No! Stop thahahahahat! I'm sorry! Hahahahahahaha!" she laughed and squirmed around. Snare-oh stopped eventually and gave the girl a noogie, making her giggle.

Everyone smiled, especially Joseph. Rosemary wasn't the one for him after all. But confidentially, he was glad. Because with an extended, happy family like the one he has, who needs a woman?


End file.
